I just thought of Xanga today, and how it was the big 'to do' in eighth grade. Hmm, I seem to be addicted to Facebook now. Surprisingly enough I signed onto here less than 9 months ago, which is a short period in respect to my Xanga timeline. I think I shall some up recent events like I have in the previous fashion.
I had a wonderful girlfriend. She was pretty much the coolest, smartest, prettiest, most down-to-earth, has-so-much-going-for-her girl I have ever dated or known. I was significant for her, too, because I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend. I sometimes find that hard to believe because she's so...attractive. And not just in the physical sense. It didn't end up working out, however. Being a first boyfriend only opened her eyes to new possibilities, and I was basically just a doorway to pass through to new beginnings. It saddens me, because I valued so much in the relationship and my care for her seems ridiculous next to the emotion she feels for me now. I guess I shouldn't have invested so much into it, we only were together for 4 months, but I think every day was worth it and I truly relished our time together. Its hard to look at her every day, she's still in one of my classes. To look at her beautiful eyes and her gorgeous smile beaming up at me with its playful innocence who now values me as a friend hurts the most. I'm learning to look past it, though. I'm finding someone to be there for me, because and emotional connection is what I yearn for. Being cut off from her is hard, and wanting to be with someone is the emotional persona I have. No girl will be truly like her and the times we had together. But when you think about it, no girl is the same and neither is the experience. Though I had so many good experiences with her, I'm realizing that I haven't exhausted every mean to have fun. Each new person brings something awesome to the table (if you choose the girl wisely, that is), and its an invigorating thing to find someone who does. I don't feel bad about liking someone new, a little birdie tells me she's interested in one of my friends. And he's a great guy who I would actually approve of my last girlfriend dating. I know that I have learned and taken what I can from our relationship, and though it was cut short I know it was worth it. I would have rather been with her for the months and lost her connection, then never to have felt that connection at all. Thank you so much, girl who shall remain anonymous. You've helped me grow, and put a little more sunshine into my life. Every time I see you smile.
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